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Entries in Rants (31)
Lesbians
Get a load of this. Supposedly there's a war being waged over the word "lesbian". There's totally this island called Lesbos and people from there are bummed when people ask them their nationality and they're all "I'm a Lesbian". I'd be super pumped if I was from that island because that would make me a Lesbian AND a lesbian.
"Campaigners on the Greek island of Lesbos are to go to court
An Open Letter To Jet Blue
The other day I got home from the airport after taking my fourth consecutive flight out of Logan in a few weeks time. Hey, sometimes you have to wine them, dine them, AND sixty nine them in this business. Getting fucked up and hanging out with celebrities can be tiring, as is shooting television pilots, eating steaks, and fucking girls in bathrooms very passionately. My friend called me up and asked me exactly how I was managing to get all these flights sorted out in such a short time. I referred him to a sample letter I've been using. It has had little success but maybe Jet Blue will listen.
Dear Jet Blue Customer Service Person Who Is Reading This,
Margot At The Wedding
Boston experienced a furiously randomized climate change yesterday. We woke up and went for a walk down Newbury Street in the sunshine. There were girls in their sun dresses, and those girls who don't wear real pants anymore but they rock spandex that shows off all of their nooks and crannies like a Thomas' English Muffin. Me and #1 Muchacho were in Zara, and I examined a girl bending over in said pants. She had painted on spandex and was bending over to look at the size of a dress. He said "Isn't it funny when a girl wears those pants and has a thick camel toe? It looks like she's smuggling a Big Mac in between her legs from behind." I laughed my fucking face off and had to agree. From now on, we've coined the term "Big Mac smugglers" so don't go stealing it and saying it's yours.
As expected, the weather turned shitty at the drop of a dime. It went from 78 degrees and sunny to 48 degrees and cloudy. The rain was on it's way. We mounted up on our Batman motorbikes (Vespas) and headed home to watch a movie until the rain storm passed.
I put on Margot at the Wedding (directed by Noah Baumbach). I'd seen it three times already but each time stoned as fuck by myself. I wanted to give it a whirl sober and I wanted Sarah (my partner in extreme hi-jinx and hot pranks, love of my life, brilliant, visiting from New York, etc.) to see it too.

I really like Noah Baumbach's The Squid and The Whale. I watched it at a particularly rough time in my life. I had my heart unexpectedly ripped out of my chest
Iggy Pop vs. Madonna
When I was a kid I'd beat it to almost anything. I'd find a way to turn the Sears Catalogue into Hustler. So you could understand why at one point I could have fooled myself into believing Madonna was kind of hot.. sort.. of?
Then the tables turned and this happened:
I'm glad it's Iggy Pop that has his shirt off and not Madonna. Do you find yourself echoing my sentiments? Yea... don't we all.
