Man, I used to hate taking tests in high school. We had this one teacher, Mr. Espa, who the kids would refer to as "Espa The Molesta" who would never let you go to the bathroom during a test. I am pretty sure that scarred me for life, considering that every time someone asks me to fill something out (i.e. tax forms, contracts, pagan death letters) I feel like I am suddenly going to shit my pants.

Here are some hilarious tests answers from high school students that are completely real and completely amazing.

 1.) Well.... Technically...

2.) I think this person

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I love when dudes get all wasted and they say things like "Dude, Natalie Portman is so hot I would totally bone her if I got the chance".  OF COURSE YOU WOULD!  A study from a very reputable source (me) says that 90% of men answered yes when asked if they would throat fuck a garbage can with lips painted on it.  So when I saw this picture of Natalie Portman with Devendra Banhart and there was all this commotion I was like "WHO GIVES A FUCK, WILL SOMEBODY FIND ME A TRASH CAN ALREADY?"

If anyone asked me what my favorite thing ever was, I'de have to give the award to pie.  Not the kind of pie that you have cool over a window sill after it comes out of the oven, but the kind of pie that is hiding out under a girls skirt.  We all know this would be my first choice.  It's the reason I grow "interesting" facial hair, learn new languages, do stand up comedy, and do virtually anything else that I do.  

It's probably hard when you're a kid to realize that something that looks like a strip of bacon with a sweater on it would be able to dominate your life.  Then you get in there and by some strange magic you understand immediately. 

When I was a kid I'd beat it to almost anything.  I'd find a way to turn the Sears Catalogue into Hustler.  So you could understand why at one point I could have fooled myself into believing Madonna was kind of hot.. sort.. of?

Then the tables turned and this happened:

I'm glad it's Iggy Pop that has his shirt off and not Madonna.  Do you find yourself echoing my sentiments?  Yea... don't we all.

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